Shame - Long Exposures Self Portrait
In my latest passion project titled "Shame," I delve deep into the complex emotions surrounding guilt, regret, and self-forgiveness. Inspired by a powerful motivational speech, this series aims to express the profound feelings that each segment of the speech provoked within me. The dialogue that resonated with me speaks to the heart of human experience: “This might be the hardest part for giving yourself because regret often comes with guilt, with shame, with the weight of feeling like you’ve let yourself or someone else down. But caring that guilt doesn’t serve you. It doesn’t fix the past; it doesn’t make you stronger. Forgiving yourself doesn’t mean excusing what you did; it means acknowledging that you’re human, that you’re imperfect, and that you’re trying. Forgive yourself not because you’re letting yourself off the hook, but because you deserve the chance to move forward without the weight of shame holding you back.”
This project began as a personal journey, a way to visually articulate the struggle of letting go of shame. Each long exposure self-portrait captures not only my physical form but also the emotional weight that comes with self-acceptance. Using a Profoto B10 Plus (500 watts) set at an aperture of 3.7 and a white beauty dish, I created a controlled environment in my studio. Blackout curtains allowed me to isolate my light source, emphasizing the stark contrast between light and shadow—symbolizing the duality of shame and self-acceptance.
For the technical aspects, I utilized my Profoto Air Remote to trigger the flash, allowing me to freeze myself in motion against the backdrop of darkness. Setting my camera to a shutter speed of 1/30th of a second and an ISO of 100, I aimed to create ethereal images that evoke the feelings of vulnerability and strength intertwined in the process of self-forgiveness.
As I share this journey, I invite others to reflect on their own experiences with shame and the liberating act of forgiveness. "Shame" is more than just a series of portraits; it's a visual narrative that encourages us to confront our past, embrace our imperfections, and ultimately move forward with a renewed sense of self-worth. Join me on this exploration of the human condition, and let’s shed the weight of shame together.
